Best (Mostly Negative) Quotes of the Contest...

Reuben-Off judges were asked to leave comments describing the sandwich and their experience at every restaurant involved in the contest. Taste-testers' code names are given for protection from the local restaurant mafia. These are their real response, exactly how they were written on their score sheet. You'll see why we left out the restaurants that they were speaking about...

You may notice that many of the listed comments are negative. Many positive comments were made during the taste-test; it's just that I didn't think the positive comments were funny in the least bit. And why read something that's not funny?

"The bread murdered my dreams" - Jimmy Jazz
"Proof that vegetarians are idiots" - Jimmy Jazz
"Heard good things- didn't see 'em" - Jimmy Jazz
"Greasy. Tangy. Salty. Disappointing." - Wolf Larsen
"So full." - Beke Zergeron
"Stick to salad bar." - Dego Wopanoli
"Dog crotch. Rotten." - Wolf Larsen
"Taste liked dead babies." - Jimmy Jazz
"Sauce is the bomb." - Dego Wopanoli
"Breaking point. Nausea." - Wolf Larsen
"Where's the beef?!" - Jimmy Jazz
"Where's the cheese?!" - Beke Zergeron
"The corned beef tasted like a scab." - Wolf Larsen
"The PBR of Reubens." - Dego Wopanoli
"Kind of a bad idea." - Wolf Larsen
"Wheat bread..F'n wheat bread." - Jimmy Jazz
"Sam, I want a raise." - Beke Zergeron
"Completely average in every way." - Jimmy Jazz
"Could write the Bible on the corned beef." - Jimmy Jazz
"Could roll a joint with the corned beef." - Jimmy Jazz
"Hippie food." - Hans

Our Taste-Testers...In Brief...

Before our Reuben-Off contest began, we asked our taste-testers to share some personal info about themselves. They gave us a fake name, their mood based on the seven dwarfs and gave a one sentence description of themselves. Get to know the group...

Sparky Washington, 55 - Happy - "Reubenesque."
Beke Zergeron, 22 - Dopey - "Despite the fact that I may lose my job giving ODB a poor rating, I vow to be as unbiased as is financially possible."
Hans, 36 - Happy - no description
The Virgin Reuben Eater, 19 - Sleepy - "I am a funny, outrageous guy who makes friends very easily and who loves it here in Boone."
Dopey, 27 - "I'm a starving grad student looking for some free (and tasty) food! Side note: My favorite part is the corned beef."
Wolf Larsen, 24 - Sleepy, Happy, Dopey, Bashful - "A staggering juggernaut of charismatic brutality."
Jimmy Jazz, 31 - Dopey - "Aging adolescent poisoned for infamy."
Sassafras Molly, 37 - Dopey - "A slightly neurotic fan of German, Italian, Chinese, Japanese and down home cuisine."
Dego Wopanoli, 27 - Sleepy - "Under a minute- that's right- I said it."